Those who know me know that I am not a very ambitious or motivated individual. This has always been the case, through my late teenage years with admonishments of wasted talent ringing in my years, all the way up to modern-day mid-twenties me. The only difference is that now the admonishments come more from me than those nearest and dearest to me, concerned for my future.

Attempts to change this generally follow the same pattern - a couple of hour's dedicated job hunting, or soul searching, or checking out university courses, followed by me getting bored, taking a break for a cup of tea and forgetting all about my malcontent for another few months.

Reflecting on these pathetically brief mustering of energy always upset me. Am I really that incapable of hauling myself out of a rut?

But this last week has shown me why I am so tragically uninterested in professionally developing myself - I haven't seen anything that is truly right for me. When I do see it though, the application gets finished and sent in record time, and fingers get crossed to the point of making me look like a polio sufferer.

Like the private school in Charlottenburg looking for a part-time English teacher to work with sixteen to twenty year olds preparing for the school-leaving exams. Or like the translation agency looking for native English speakers to translate Italian football websites into English.

I'm quite vastly underqualified for both of them, but I want them both so badly and know that I would be very good at both of them. And they wouldn't interfere with my BCUK work or camp work.

*recrosses fingers even harder*