So, like I said, I don't like travelling.
I found this out about five years ago on a standard issue trip around Eastern Europe. Yeah, I had some fun, but mostly it was miserable and I spend most of the time looking forward to getting home. Snapped pictures of the things I should snap pictures of, went to the places my guidebook told me to go to and met the people that made me fail to realise that the whole thing was just a big waste of time and money.
I just don't see the point in seeing cities. It's very rare for me to visit a new town and think, wow, this place is kinda nice. Usually I'm thinking, meh, let's drink until I can get home to my own nice comfy bed.
There just seems to be something fruitless about the whole thing. Who cares about seeing buildings? Or lying on a beach? Or taking pictures to bring home instead of seeing something that's worth bloody remembering?
I made a resolution a couple of years back to only ever go travelling for two reasons: to climb mountains or to visit someone I really want to see. I have remained faithful to this decision and I have noticed that my enjoyment of the places I visit has increased significantly as a result. Of course, this also coincides with taking the types of holidays that most people don't, so I don't have to put up with tourists.
Another reason is language. I am reasonably good at languages - I speak English, German and Italian. I think it's because of this that I feel like a useless, selfish prick when I ask someone change language for me. I should bloody well speak theirs if I want to spend time in their country. I realise how terribly stupid this is, and I realise also that it's largely down to not wanting to be mistaken for some of those 'speak English louder and slower' tourists that, frankly, should be never be allowed to leave their own country.
I realise also that these problems will all become irrelevant for my trip to India - I'll be visiting my sister, they speak English there anyway and I'll be there for long enough to have a base and not have to do so much travelling if I don't feel like it.
This, however, leads me to the reason why I have never left Europe.
I have a debt to society. A fucking enormously spectacular one that, once I start repaying it, will probably take most of my life to assuage the guilt. Luckily, however, living in Europe makes it easy for me to ignore this.
I live a wonderfully easy life here, working as much or as little as I feel like, simply and solely because of the language I was born into. What did I do to deserve such an easy life? Why me? Why wasn't I born into poverty in India, facing a struggle every single day just to make it into the next?
I think once I actually see poverty up close and personal that I will start repaying the debt, and I fear that I won't be able to stop.
I think I'm still going to go though; it's about time.
