I wish there was something more than a busy street and a tree outside my bedroom window, then at least I could stare that the neighbours.

Ooh, Rear Window remake! Mmm, Grace Kelly...

That's it. Auditions are open. I am James Stewart, I need a Grace Kelly. Form an orderly queue, ladies...

Although I do have the SPD headquarters outside my window too. I could spy on them and uncover some huge Europe-wide conspiracy. Maybe they're planning to kick Ireland out of the EU because of the Lisbon Treaty debacle. I'd be screwed then. I'd have to marry someone in order to stay here.

That's it. Auditions are open. My citizenship is about to become worthless, I need a sham marriage. Form an orderly queue, ladies and gentlemen*...

AAAAAaaaarrrggggGGGGhhhhhHHHH!!

I need to get out of here!

*Same-sex marraiges are perfectly legal here, but are easier to dissolve so a man-wedding is preferable...