Hold on to your pants, folks, what I am about to say may change the way you look at the world.
I have discovered a consipracy theory. A big one. If my blog gets deleted as a result of this post, it won't be because of BCUK bosses, this goes way deeper than any of us could possibly imagine. However I am happy to put myself on the line in order to reveal the truth.
Here goes.
After a week of being out in the sunshine on English Camp, I had rather chapped lips. This happens to me quite a lot. No big deal, smack on some Vaseline and two days later, you're ready for some more all-weather action.
Last week, however, I was out of Vaseline (and anyone who even thinks about suggesting that this had anything to do with a certain pair of visitors will be in Very Big Trouble), so I picked up some Blistex Daily Lip Conditioner. A week on, my lips are still sore and dry.
And here's my theory.
Theydeliberatelymakeitsothatitdoesn'tactuallyhealyousoyoubuymoreandmoreofit!
I wrote the above in a secret code to throw them off the scent. I trust that the more astute amongst you will be able to crack it.
The bloody stuff tastes really good too. Hard to stop using it even though I know it's not doing any good.
It's the beginning of the end, folks. Spend your last hours as you see fit.
